what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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