How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
