I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
