the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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