I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
