well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
