do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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