you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
