Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
