we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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