# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
