On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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