Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
