Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
