I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
false alarm, still single
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
