i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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