Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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