so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
