He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
