Kiss
Puke
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
