I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
