Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
