she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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