im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
