escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
