We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
