marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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