Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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