It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
