that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
