how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
