I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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