I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
