turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
