Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
