I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
