Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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