is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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