Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
