so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
