That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
