i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
