Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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