My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize