Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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