umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
