that's an acceptable place to lick
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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