did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
