Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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