someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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