I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
