oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
