Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
